The Meat Sweats and Other Relevant States of Being

Saturday, November 21: the Annual Wild Game Supper at the Bradford United Church of Christ in Bradford, Vermont.

$25 for something like 25 different kinds of meat prepared in a variety of ways. An average of 900 served in the church basement dining hall. A tradition more than 40 years old.

Tell me this doesn't sound like an amazing way to spend a Saturday.

When I first read of the Wild Game Supper - in the UVAC Weekly Newsletter - I knew immediately it was something I had to see for myself. I informed Dan of this, almost immediately, and no surprise he laughed at me. Why? Probably because I am not the biggest meat eater. Sad but true. I dislike steak. I tolerate cheeseburgers on rare and special occasions (side note: I ate the best cheeseburger EVER at the Carpenter & Main in Norwich, Vermont. But that's another story.) I can take or leave turkey.

So moose, bear, and elk seemed out of the question. Except I wanted to go. Dan was obviously on board, too, (and as a legitimate meat-lover) although we did exchange a series of jokes re: the infamous meat sweats for days, weeks.

For those not in the know, the meat sweats are the result of an excess consumption of meat, that uncomfortable stage where you feel you've become one with the steak in the least flattering way. No one, upon leaving a barbecue, should smell like a barbecue, after all. When meat makes you sweat it's time to take up vegetarianism. Of course, I'd never been near the meat sweats, but who knew? Maybe the Wild Game Supper would be my chance...

Apparently we were not alone and before long we had a group of 28 meat afficionados assembled and ready to make the trek to Bradford, Vermont.

Bradford is yet another quintessential sleepy New England town, complete with rolling hills, church steeples, and an old mill (now a picturesque cafe with a kitschy name: The Perfect Pear.) In addition to meat feasts it also boasts lawn mower racing in the spring and fall, which might make it the coolest New England town I know. (Sorry Hanover.)

We pulled up outside the church and were immediately ushered inside to the waiting area. And by waiting area, I mean church proper. There we were, 28 b-school students and partners, lined up in church pews, listening to live music and catching up on our bible reading. Our tickets were numbered from the 180s to the 200s, but finally we were called, then directed to the basement.

The basement was a well-lit room with a massive kitchen and a row of fifty crock pots.

We were promptly served:

- wild game chili

- wild game sausage

- buffalo pie

- moose patty

- bear

- elk

- pheasant risotto

- rabbit

- rabbit pie

- roasted boar

- smoked boar

- [insert additional meats here]

Let's just say our plates were filled with meat. We were then seated at long tables, offered cider and potatoes and coleslaw and crackers with pate, in case the meat wasn't enough to fill us up. (We all avoided the pate... not that I like it under any circumstance but at a wild game supper in particular we were a bit nervous as to what sort of pate it might be... they definitely did not say, and as someone said "there must've been a lot of liver left over.")

Ick.

I wish I could tell you I sampled all of the meats, but I did not. I chickened out. (Pun intended?) I did, however sample some of them. Some in such small quantities Dan will tell you it doesn't count, but for me, this was brave.

My conclusions? Smoked boar: delicious, somewhere between bacon and ham. Rabbit? A slightly saltier more flavorful turkey. Moose... questionable. Bear? Too scary to try. If meat can look angry and fierce that would absolutely be bear meat.

So I didn't clean my plate, though some people definitely did. Altogether it was one of the most interesting afternoon/evenings I've spent in a long time. And while I didn't try the bear this year, the game supper is, as I've said, an annual tradition. But I probably won't eat it next year, either.

We stumbled out of the church in varying degrees of food comas, climbed into our car for the 45 minute drive home. And that's when Rob said to us, "So people have been talking about the meat sweats. Have you guys ever heard of them?"