"Fair" Play

Yesterday, Dan and I ventured out into greater New England for the inaugural outing of the Upper Valley Appreciation Club. The UVAC's first event boasted a bit of everything, from "Cool Old Things" to smoked turkey legs, prize-winning zucchinis, prize-winning cattle, carnival rides, and crisp apple crisp. And pig racing. Lots of pig racing.

Where could one find such varied wonders? At the Tunbridge World's Fair in Tunbridge, Vermont.

We couldn't have asked for better a day. We'd left the house, layered as usual, in preparation for an afternoon outdoors in almost-fall Vermont. But we quickly stripped off our jackets and sweaters. The air was cool, maybe, but the sun was very bright and sky perfectly blue.

Hanover is situated on the Connecticut River,

which itself provides the border between New Hampshire and Vermont. I have even jogged across state lines (which is much less impressive than it sounds as Vermont is less than a mile away.) Our drive to Tunbridge took just over a half hour, but it took us through some beautiful land. Highways in New England simply aren't like ordinary highways. They wind through green mountains, slope down valleys. In a few weeks the view will be even more impressive, the greens brightened by reds and golds as the leaves turn.

We drove with Erika and Jamie, two of our new New England friends. Most recently from Boston, Jamie is a Tuck first year and Erika a Hanover Town lawyer. Erika is our resident expert (born and raised in Lebanon, NH) and a founding member of the UVAC. (founding member, genius inventor, mastermind...)

At first glance the Tunbridge Fair is what you'd expect of a county fair, tough perhaps more authentically so. The locals are there with their prize poultry and vegetables, selling maple creamees and apple crisp. The stall selling backhoes operates in conjunction with AT&T wireless. For all your farming and phoning needs. There are carnival rides and fried dough and a magician called "Ed" with pointy, elvish shoes.

Erika found him creepy, though the children apparently did not.

The "main" event, from our perspective, was the pig racing, of course. This was my first pig racing, which is probably no surprise. We arrived only 15 minutes early, having wandered to apple crisp stall at the far end of the fair, and were shocked to find that the pig racing venue was packed. Apparently, pig racing is a big draw and not just for us. We paid a dollar each to bet on a "pig." I picked "Shakin' Bacon"; Dan chose "Hamma Montana." Erika and Jamie were set "Tyrone the Terrible," a pot-bellied pig racer.

The event was hosted by a pig racing veteran - indeed, he claimed this was his 20th year of racing. There were three heats and he commentated them as one would a horse race. Sadly, Shakin' Bacon and Hamma Montana lost in heats 1 and 2. This left only Tyrone in heat 3. For those of you who have never seen a pot-bellied pig race, well...

Heats 1 and 2 proceed about as expected. The pigs were excited, lured by the promise of Oreo cookies, of all things. We had high expectations for Heat 3, the pot-bellied pig race. The gate opened, the racers took their marks, the bugle sounded...

...and the pigs didn't move.

Despite our master of ceremony's enthusiastic commentating, this race took approximately ten times as long as the others. The pot-bellies were simply more interested in sitting, resting, sniffing, and... so forth. And sadly, by the time the first pig was coaxed across the finish line, Tyrone the Terrible had not yet turned the first quarter.

Though we were 0/3 on my first pig racing, we were treated to complimentary "Pro-Pork" bumper stickers. So our day at the "races" wasn't a total loss.

And of course, we then lined up to slide down the giant slide while seated on old potato sacks. There's nothing like a fair to bring out the kid in you... or your b-school buddies and their partners.